Superwoman Took Off Her Cape and Hung Herself With It. (Warning Explicit Language)

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I apologize for another “rant”. But I am not seeing a doctor yet because my insurance just came in (throws confetti).I need a referral and my PCP appointment isn’t until next month. So if y’all want to click the X now feel free. This is more for me and the other members of my “Annie” family.

Apparently, I was one bad bitch before I got ill. I worked two jobs over 60 hours a week, and managed to go to poetry venues maybe once a week or so. Friday nights I would go to my sister’s house (Hi Kei) even when I had to teach class on Saturday mornings. (Mind you the college was over an hour away). I would then go food shopping, cook for the week and clean  I mean REALLY CLEAN – not that surface shit) my “bungalow”, and on most Sundays I would see my VSF and put him to sleep (sorry about that, but my motto is if you’re gonna do something do it to the best of your ability). Then I would get up, cook him breakfast, go to the Laundromat, remake the bed, grade essays, and then either read or write until after midnight, getting up at six am on Monday morning to do it all over again. My VSF called me a mutant and my sister was always shocked at my energy

Then, over a year and three months ago, my brain exploded.

Since then, (well- read my “about” page). I am really trying. Really. My headaches are intolerable sometimes. I get them:

when the barometric pressure drops

when the Moon is full

when it is too noisy

if I get worried

if I have a lot of stuff to do

when I am due for my cycle

if I get angry or stressed

(don’t laugh) but when I think too hard.

Like right now, I am pissed for a myriad of reasons and can’t wait to get back into therapy so I can scream at someone NEUTRAL. Because normally that helps. I have a MAJOR MIGRAINE and I don’t know if it’s because I am mad, because it’s snowing, if I am sick with a sinus infection or a cold.

I want to fuckin run away. Like to Hawaii. Somewhere warm. Where I don’t have to do shit but get up, and go to the beach. I was talking to another member of my “family” and she said “wouldn’t it be cool if our insurance covered some sort of retreat for survivors/warriors??? I laughed to myself and thought :yeah one of the activities could be beating a mannequin who says they have a “killer headache” like a piñata. But we couldn’t because we would have to sleep two days after the fact.

Not to mention Social Security. I am going to sum that up in one statement; if I was a damn drug addict, I would have Social Security by now.

I can’t imagine what Annie survivors who have infants or young children have to go through. My heart goes out to them. So I am going to hang in there, for them, for the others’ who have it worse than me. I’m going to put my cape back on…well after this nap anyway.

Peace
“Star”

 

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“a muse has no place in battle”

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she gives directions to sheer beauty

by painting paths into the sunrise

in melodies heard in the treetops

who gives birth to blossoming fruit

by painting paths into the sunrise

you will be able to follow your light

which gives birth to blossoming fruit

with seeds that are planted with care

you will be able to follow your light

while illuminating the gifts of others

with seeds that are planted with care

grown for the songs of Life

while illuminating the gifts of others

in melodies heard in the treetops

grown for the songs of Life

she gives directions to sheer beauty

© michele mitchell, 2014

Prompt: The Daily Post-365 Days of Writing Prompts/March 13/Silver Screen

Photo Credit: http://angelfire.com

bebe del amore

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we would call her isabella

all long curly locks and lashes

fluttering over almond eyes

she would wear a lemon linen

calypso barefoot to the sound of the Sea

skip down cal calle while giggling

choosing sunny orchids to adorn her mane

singing songs that rhymed with her name

isabella

dressed in yella

had a secret she could not…

© michele mitchell, 2014

Prompt: http://www.pw.org/writing-prompts-exercises-naming-names

Photo credit: nyuwun.com

Stubborn Love

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First of all let me say that whoever is writing these daily prompts needs to be flogged (lol). I can NOT get these 80’s MTV songs out of my head.

Secondly, maybe they are doing so because they are sick of my poetry, because it is becoming increasingly harder to write poems on these topics.

Now, what am I stubborn about? It’s gonna sound corny, (I guess) but Love. Now I am not talking about the “I’ma stalk your life obsessed kinda love, but more of an overall type of Love.

I wasn’t always this way. My love was very conditional. A give and take sort of Love. It could be as simple as the morning in winter. If it was a cold Monday and I had to go to work, I was angry and hated the day. (Poor Mondays, they get a bad rap). Now, I look at Mondays in a whole new light. It is the beginning of the week, so it can be considered a “do over. It can be cold out and be just as beautiful. The crisp air filling my lungs to remind me how fascinating and intricate Life is. This could be said of any day in any season. Just think about the beauty of each day and how it is a gift.

People are also gifts. Yes, their behavior sometimes isn’t and some people can be inherently evil, but they can be used as an example of how not to be. So I try not to hate people. (Sh*t it gets increasingly hard sometimes especially if those “people” hurt people I Love. Then you will see another part of me.)

I Love making others happy. And very recently, I have learned to make myself happy as well. In the morning, I have to have my quiet time. I take my meds,  make a cup of coffee (Hi The Culture Monk!!) write then read (or vice versa) and basically just chill out. If I have a migraine, (which happens frequently) I’ll go back to sleep. Now, of course I don’t Love being sick. But I am in Love with being alive, so that makes appreciate little things that most people may overlook.

Why am I so “positive”? Well besides the obvious, (read my about page). Have you ever been around someone who is miserable? Someone who cannot find one thing to be happy about? Who will make an excuse or debate you when you try to point out the positive? Ugh.

They say happiness is a choice, and I believe that. So why would someone consciously choose to be unhappy and hate his/her life?

Now, I am gonna look for a poetry prompt.

Peace and Shine On!!!

Star

Other Stubborn Folk:

1. Care to Dare | Rima Hassan

2. On Homophobia | AS I PLEASE

3. There are just some things I like done or doing a certain way. The right way. | thoughtsofrkh

4. How Are You Toward Health Goals, Easy Going Or Stubborn? | Because It Calms My Nerves:

5. No surrender on Mental Illness awareness/tolerance | ALIEN AURA’S BlOG: IT’LL BLOW YOUR MIND!

Prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/11/daily-prompt-never-surrender/

Photo credit: www.fanpop.com

coming soon

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Sun polishes his beams like Easter shoes

while the blossoms bask in his glory

robins chatter

humming birds flitter among flowers

perfuming the breeze whose chill hides in the shade

pull out the pastels the color of petals

something bout the season slows you to a saunter

welcome Spring

© michele mitchell, 2014

Prompt: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/wednesday-poetry-prompts-257

Photo credit: www.northrup.com

what of the stories

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parameter a paradox of Peace

traffic rushing

mimics waves from seas

the truth doesn’t matter

as long as there is sunshine

brightening Autumn trees

little boathouses tell stories

hide and seek

toasted marshmallows

and a poet scribbling

while gazing out of her window

© michele mitchell, 2014

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/09/prompt-built-city/

photo credit: “star”

Other stories:

  1. I live in a city (Poem) | A mom’s blog
  2. http://rickenba.ch/blog/en/2012/12/21/rebuilding-the-city-where-to-start/
  3. San Francisco Twenty Twelve Part One | Greg Urbano
  4. Daily Prompt: We Built This City | Basically Beyond Basic
  5. What’s The Word On The Street? Betting Shops, Pawn Shops & Empty Shops… | Steve Says…

comfort in my crazy

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i’d take every language to tell you I Love you in different ways

take pictures before dawn so you wouldn’t miss a sunrise

fill your passport with island hopping where rainbows end to keep you hopeful

learn how to play piano and croon songs that celebrated your greatness

share memories and recipes with your mama so you would be sated

paint your portrait with royal hues so you could see yourself through my eyes

take the children to a museum, gallery, orchestra

then to the movies, a concert and amusement park because learning should be a joy

if they think building sandcastles is corny i’ll help them construct their desires

while you were sleeping i’ll sing to you softly so you will dance in your dreams

you will wake up in magic

manifesting your purpose

it wouldn’t cost you a thing

but your belief

© michele mitchell, 2014

Prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/07/daily-prompt-lets-go-crazy/

Photo credit: www.nursetogether.com

other crazy antics:

  1. A Watermark, a Ford Falcon and a Creative Commons License walk into an alley… | Greg Urbano
  2. A Supposedly Fun Thing I Should Never Have Done in the First Place | AS I PLEASE
  3. http://wangsgard.com/lifestyle/something-crazy/
  4. On being yourself | Attempted Human Relations and Self
  5. Venturing Beyond the Comfort Zone | snapshotsofawanderingheart

grown in november

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adorned in the azure shade of the sky

accessorized with tinkling piano keys

sunbeams and a smile.

sated sassafras scented sighs

mingle with earthy

footsteps

bass notes and heartbeats.

free Spirit skips with chimes on her anklet

cinnamon leaves swirl under the setting apricot sun

glazing giggles to be shared with coffee

conversation

kisses

swaying in a brassy note filled breeze.

© michele mitchell, 2014

Prompt: The Daily Post: 365 Days of Writing Prompts-March 6

Photo Credit: http://www.hdwpapers.com/

breakfast music

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running water hisses like

jazz brushes on snares

boom bap of cabinets

drawers opening

closing and coercing

cutlery chimes

keeping rhythm of soft duets with sizzling

main course scats and Spiritual hums

gram made more than meals in her kitchen

she made the blues

tasty

© michele mitchell, 2014

poetry prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/03/prompt-our-house/

photo credit: www.interiortub.com

Other places like home:

  1. Home: Tankas | 365 days of defiance
  2. My Childhood Home | A mom’s blog
  1. Children Must Be Seen And Not Heard | Lisa’s Kansa Muse
  2. 272.      My Childhood Home | Barely Right of Center
  3. DP: OUR      HOME | Active Army Wife