Will I Ever Be “Okay”?

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I am in a war with the state and federal government regarding my health insurance. They are pointing their proverbial fingers at one another leaving me in the middle caught in the crossfire. I fear I will soon be a casualty.

I’m scared.

I should be resting and healing, but instead I am making phone calls, sending emails, and begging. Because of my short term memory loss, I have post it notes everywhere to attempt to remind myself who I have spoken to and what I have said. I can sense the frustration in others’ voices when they ask me if I did this or contacted that agency, and did I follow up?

What I don’t understand is, this was supposed to be easy and seamless. It isn’t. Why do I have to do the following up? Did somebody forget I had two brain surgeries in a seven month period of time, and I am not healed yet?

Then there are the headaches. Not a day goes by where I don’t have one. They range from painful to excruciating. Yesterday, I believe the excruciating migraine was caused by me becoming upset about the fiasco with my health insurance debacle. I am on medication to keep me calm but I was so upset yesterday, I cried through being medicated. Thank God I had someone (I forget who at this point) fighting for me to at least get my prescriptions (for the time being anyway).

Then I become so angry,I want to be ignorant. I want to ask the government if their enrollment process had issues. I bet they have their insurance!!! But I know that’s not the way to get anything accomplished.

How long is this going to take to get resolved?

The longer it takes,the more time it will take for me to heal.

The longer it takes for me to heal, the more time it will take me to get back to work.

I never thought I would want to go back to work, but at least I had insurance, paychecks where I could afford food, clothes and pay my rent on time.

I have a fantasy that someone hears about my story and gives me an advance to finish my novel. The novel becomes a best seller and I pay off my debt and help my family out with theirs. Then I move to Belize, get married to my VSF, by a house where the ocean is my backyard…and relax.

But for now, I just want to be okay.

“Star”

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it will flow

it will flow

dearest hippie gypsy poet,

because everything has meaning
you have noticed the color of this bottle is green
it must have sparkled like emeralds in the summer sun
as your heart is also filled with light
sparkling
shining
hence why the one for whom your heart belongs
named you Star.

you are often called to the Sea
it is your home
listen for your Father’s instructions
in the whispers of the waves
embrace your place amongst the prophets
provide Peace
show Faith
express Joy
Be Love
personify the truth of the universe
in verse
back in the bottle
back to the sea with instructions to follow.
© michele mitchell 2014

prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/31/daily-prompt-water/
photo credit: http://www.123rf.com

lukewarm

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above me was a steel regime

regimented rude

compulsively clean

the right way was theirs and everyone else

was frowned

down

upon

steel wasn’t just cold

it was frigid

no affection given

just more directions to follow

my heart was hollowly beaten

begging for healing from its bruises

useless to explain if it was just Loved a little bit more

it wouldn’t have accepted less than what its am worth

having to work the brain to its bursting point for relief

watching others rob, beat cheat the system with ease

there has to be a middle ground between being cold

and a deep freeze.

© michele mitchell, 2014

prompt: http://wordpress.com/read/post/id/489937/68146/

photo credit: www.specialtyexectives.com

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everyday

everyday

waking up smiling
praising God for this day and each other
reaching out to touch the rays of sun on his skin
lingering in the warmth of his embrace
personifying Joy and satisfaction
affirming
being
choosing
desiring
encouraging
feeling
giving
having
Love
and that’s only our good morning
© michele mitchell, 2014
prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/29/daily-prompt-now-2/
photo credit: justcuteanimals.com

Having No Medical Insurance May Also Result in Having No Home

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Because of my disability this letter took me four hours to complete as well as email, I thought I would share it with you, since I will probably receive more responses from this blog anyway

**For those of you who are familiar with this story, feel free to skip the first two paragraphs**

Please bear with me as I am unsure where to even begin.

Up until November 10, 2012 I worked two jobs. I worked in a call center specializing in Health and Welfare benefits, and I was an Adjunct English Professor at Camden County College. The reason I am using past tense is because on the above aforementioned date, I suffered a cerebral artery aneurysm rupture. In May of 2013, I had a second brain surgery in May to coil another aneurysm to prevent it from rupturing. I have not worked since November 10th 2012 and have been receiving Long Term Disability since February. My medical benefits through my former employer expired January 1, 2014.

I enrolled on the Affordable Health Care website December 19th and was approved for NJ Family Care starting January 1st. According to NJ Family Care, because of “technical issues” they have not received my information from the Affordable Health Care website. So twenty eight days later, I still do not have health insurance.

Thankfully, my assembly(wo)man’s office was able to assist me to obtain my prescriptions, which are life sustaining, for thirty days. Thanks to reporter Kim Mulford of the Courier Post my prescription drug dilemma made front page of the newspaper.

Now, I have eleven days left of my medication and no insurance. I cannot even see my doctors without my insurance card, which NJ Family Care says “to be patient, once they process my information, it will be sent to me”

Also, my Long Term disability Met Life carrier (Met Life) needs documentation from my doctors to confirm I am still disabled so they can reevaluate my claim. They also said that if they are unable to obtain the information needed, they will use the documentation already on file. If that information isn’t sufficient, my monthly benefit could be suspended.

Since that is my only source of income right now, if my benefits get suspended for any length of time it will cause a severe financial hardship for me. I explained my situation to Met Life and they strongly suggested that I contact any and every media affiliate, as well as political figure possible.

I am humbly begging someone to help me.

Regards,

Michele Mitchell

(phone number)

CC: Gov. Chris Christie

Sen. Robert Menendez

Sen. Fred H. Madden

Assemblyman Paul D. Moriarty

Assemblywoman Gabriela M. Mosquera

Kim Mulford (Courier Post)

Inquirer.Letters@phillynews.com

Health Check 6abc.com

NBC News Channel 10

KYW News 3 On Your Side

Huffington Post

President Barack Obama www.whitehouse.gov

Speaking it into Existence

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One day before I am forty-five, I will be sitting across from Oprah Winfrey explaining how on January 27th 2014, why I thought about ending my life about six times. Then I stopped and decided the best thing I could do to feel better about my life was to create my own life. So I decided that my novel was going to be completed and will be a best seller. It will be such a success it will be turned into a film. Then I will be contracted by a major publishing company and I will have three more best-selling novels with correlating films. Needless to say, I nor my family, will ever have to worry about money again. I will then move to Central America and buy a house on the beach. I will marry the man who I have Loved since I was nineteen years old and we will get married in our backyard overlooking the sea. We will retire and live a blissful and Peaceful life together testifying to others while having beautiful feasts on Sundays.

As my mind colors in the negative spaces with the Joy of rainbows, I will add them to this manifestation masterpiece.

Star

photo credit: news.jeebboo.com

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blossoming individual

blossoming individual

women who pride themselves on being different
defying clichés
say they wish not to be given flowers for they die.
what if the Creator thought the same?
meanwhile desiring to be taken to the garden of Longwood
gasp at the fragile orchid petals
twisting their faces towards the Son in praise
finish the day sipping chilean merlot in an Italian café
those prideful, different, women
sip chardonnay and convince men we are all the same
as our vases stay empty
© michele mitchell, 2014

prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/27/daily-prompt-barriers/

photo credit: http://longwoodgardens.org/events-and-performances/events/orchid-extravaganza

in the heart of the city (pantoum)

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is it just bravado scrawl spray painted on the wall

poetry in motion captured by hopeful wishes

who nodded their heads to the rhythm of their world

colors spin creating pinwheels on cardboard corners

 

poetry in motion captured by hopeful wishes

on neon signs and streetlights that are understudies for stars

colors spin creating pinwheels on cardboard corners

between jump rope rhymes and double dutch dances

 

on neon signs and streetlights that are understudies for stars

the future glitters between snowflakes, raindrops, newborn or fallen leaves

between jump rope rhymes and double dutch dances

scatting the prayers of redemption

 

the future glitters between snowflakes, raindrops, newborn or fallen leaves

is it just bravado scrawl spray painted on the wall

scatting the prayers of redemption

who nodded their heads to the rhythm of their world

© michele mitchell, 2014

photocredit:www.deviantart.com