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Am I SELFish

Am I SELFish

You have this light that surrounds you.
I feel so Peaceful when I am around you.
Just talking to you calms me.
Did anyone ever tell you that you glow?

To be honest, I thought people were full of crap when they would say the above to me. But in a recent phone conversation with my daughter she told me that a relative stranger after talking to her for a few hours told her:
You are not here for you. You were put here by God to help others.

Dag.
The crap is hereditary.
Okay it’s not crap; I mean God gave it to us so it’s good.

But it is an exhausting responsibility.

I never knew that I have been helping others my whole life. People who need help just naturally gravitated towards me. If their Spirit felt sincere, I allowed them in. In the past, this trust caused my light to be dimmed by light “parasites”. However, since I became ill, (see about section of this blog) I have begun meditating thereby recharging my light and sharpening my feelers. Now, I can just walk into a room and my senses will alarm me if there is something “not right” with the Spirit of or in that room. I am not saying I am clairvoyant; although that would be cool. I am saying I am more aware than I was before.

So much so, that when I meditate to balance my chakras if I concentrate on a particular Loved one, I get warm sensations in the area where that person needs it, and I concentrate on helping my Loved one.

Sometimes, I just ask God for guidance for a Loved one who may need my help if I don’t know where they need it. This takes energy too because I am praying and meditating and channeling and giving and …and…then I had nothing left to give.

I was out of energy, exhausted and I needed help.

I asked God and the Universe through prayer what was happening to me and what I needed to do.

At that point, I promise you, my heart chakra filled with soothing warmth and the meditation I was listening instructed me to repeat the following mantra silently to myself:

I am Love
I am Truth
I am Peace
.

Then I drifted in and out of sleep. I wanted to finish the poem I was thinking about before I lost my energy. Then I felt guilty for even wanting to write it because the people who may have known about what was going on may feel it was inappropriate for me to be writing at a time like this. I also thought it was inappropriate and selfish of me to just abandon people who counted on me, my being, and my self.

Then God must have heard the judgment I placed on myself and as if on cue the meditation said:

Release
Be.

I physically, mentally, and spiritually, rested for two days to be and take care of myself. If I did not take care of myself, I could not help anyone else. If I could not help anyone else, I am not fulfilling my God given purpose.

As some of you who have read my blog before know my SF calls me “Star”. I used to kid and say, “So I’m a big ball of gas huh?” He would just jokingly tell me to “shut up” and remind me about my shine. I took a time out to polish my shine. I hope now I can use that rejuvenated Light to assist someone else find their way out of the dark.
Thanks God, I needed that and will do it more often, as needed.

Peace and Shine On
“Star”

© michele mitchell, 2013
P.S. Stay tuned for the poem 🙂
Photo Credit: http://mothermaryswords.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/hol.jpg

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2 comments on “Am I SELFish

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