I Still Shine-Update 2

Physically:

Either I am REALLY healing or something is REALLY wrong, but I am exhausted ALL the time. My headaches literally “spiral” from my temples to the base of my head and then back again. It gets so bad my ears throb. I’m not sure if that means I am sick, or if it’s just part of my healing process. I am ALWAYS cold as well. Maybe I should give my Neurologist a call (heheheheheh) and ask him, but I’ll feel stupid if it is not aneurysm related.

Mentally:

I am having difficulty again with my “filter”, but that could be due to my low tolerance for ignorance and stupidity demonstrated at the same time. The good news is at least I am aware of the difficulty and can try to “halt” my outbursts before they happen.

Short term memory is getting better, but there are days I really have to concentrate to get things done.

Emotionally:

I am super sensitive right now. I cry when my son buys coffee for me. I get angry when people don’t do what they say they are going to do. I am furious when people lie to me, and I figure it out.

I mean I always thought getting angry when people lie was overstating the obvious, because if you like when people lie to you and it doesn’t involve role play on a Tuesday…(stop looking at me like that)

All that to say as you are well aware, I have brain damage. And if your lies are so bad that a brain damaged chick can figure them out, you are slower than molasses going uphill in January.

So here are the rules that were accidentally stated in another blog:

1-Don’t lie to me

2-Don’t waste my time

3-Don’t get me pregnant, unless permission was granted in the past and then I must see it in writing. My memory is bad, but I recall only two“knock me up” waivers were given and one of them was for D’Angelo and the other knows who he is….jussayin.

We will get along just fine.

*If I have offended anyone lately, charge it to my head (literally) not my heart.

*Good news is I have left the house for something other than food shopping or a doctor’s appointment once already this week, and I am actually going out to see my bestie and my lil niece this weekend.

*I miss my daughter and my granddaughters something awful though. God, make a way for me to get to Cali.

*I haven’t been badgered by SS, but they have been awfully quiet as well. Let’s just pray they are finalizing my case.

 

 

 

Spiritually:

Again I am actually pretty good. Prayer and meditation helps a lot. Realizing my energy was given to me by God, and He also has given me the tools to use it effectively is worthy of praise all by itself. So, I am claiming the Blessings I prayed for ahead of time.

 

Stay tuned…

“Star”

 

 

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5 comments on “I Still Shine-Update 2

    • A. Thank you for the kind words.

      B. The pregnancy waiver looks like the blushing smile of my “special friend” who was IN SHOCK when I told him I would have his child, but he would have to marry me or else I have two women on standby who would Love to adopt our little caramel creation

      C. For the record, D’Angelo could not be reached for comment but our combined DNA would either create a poetic musical genius or a brain damaged dope head. With that being said, I am still willing to take the risk…LOL

  1. i loathe social security. i want to scream and yell and act a fool until i realize that the stress they’re causing me is not helping my health at all. it’s hard, because i work for myself, so they’re is no such thing as sick days, and social security is making me feel like some low-life, has-been looking for free money. like, hello? my recovery took over two months, which is two months my bills didn’t get paid, and two months that i had to realize that i may never work at the same levels i used to.

    wait…where am i going with this? idk. but i love you for saying all of the things i never do. you’re stronger than me in that regard. i gave up on people understanding my forgetfulness, my lethargy, my up and down depression, my inability to drive anywhere that isn’t two seconds away from me without someone in the car with me (which sucks, because i like to travel alone, which means, i just gave up on going anywhere at all). you have patience. i just said f*ck it all and am focusing on my health and mental well being. it’s a lonely recovery, but constantly trying to explain my lack of care for trivial ish these days is just too much to bare.

    (and the only person allowed to get me pregnant is andre 3000. it used to be mos def until i realized he had a billion children and a thousand baby mamas)

    • if I don’t vent somehow, I will in fact explode so, I don’t call it strength so much as I don’t want a homicide on my record…but thank you and I will gladly take the Love…

      without repeating your sentiments too much, with the government shut down I am really concerned about my case now being put on the back burner with Social Security…so I am going to call my lawyer Monday to see what’s up with that…

      I Love you Darlin, anytime you want to yell just hit me up…I’m a good listener, when I am not interrupting to repeat myself…LOL

      ((hugs))

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