Men WANT to be NEEDED; Women NEED to be WANTED

I’m a Scorpio which makes me a Water Sign. So because I am naturally drawn to Water, I tend to do my best thinking when I am near Water.

I wasn’t even gonna write a blog today.

But I was in the shower during a thunderstorm with two metal coils in my brain, and I got to thinking:

I guess it was a good thing I didn’t go to the beach after all. But, I really wanted to go to the beach. Just like I wanted pancakes.

But after a really loud crack of thunder, I remembered I had metal in my head, and I jumped out of the shower. My stomach growled and I yawned simultaneously.

I needed to dry off, get a cup of coffee and eat.

I wasn’t even gonna write a blog today.

But then it hit me, I am not a “needy chick”. Never have been really. Up until the rupture, I was actually super independent. Link that with the uncanny ability to be able to change a tire, and I would joke to my former co-workers that if I got a stepstool for my apartment to reach the high stuff in the cupboard, all I really needed a man for was to carry or lift the heavy stuff.

Don’t even take it there, that’s another blog.

But I remember during a conversation with my brother Thadd about my “special friend” regarding my independence. I remember me “selling my good qualities” when Thadd interrupted and said, “The only problem with y’all relationship, besides the fact that he is an idiot, is that you don’t need him and that takes his power away.

To which I responded, “But that doesn’t make any sense. Shouldn’t he be happy that I want him?”

My brother replied, “No, because you can always change your mind about a want. A need secures a man’s position in your life. And with a woman like you, he knows at any time you could not put up with his bullshit and walk out, because you don’t need him. Think about the women in his life past or present, the one thing they all have in common is that he feels/felt obligated to stay in their lives. Like he is either paying off a debt or playing a role. Think about Chele, when you needed money for a bill or to go out, he was right there, no questions asked. When you wanted to see him, he had a myriad of excuses why he can’t or couldn’t.

“That doesn’t make any sense. What about Love?” I asked.

“That is why I said he is stupid. Some men are too stupid or have been trained to think that being in Love is a sign of weakness, so they tend to run from it. No man wants to be considered weak, especially with a woman like you who is so strong. But if he was a smart man, he would be with you and combine y’all strength and take over the world. I’m not saying he doesn’t Love you, because if he didn’t he wouldn’t go an hour out of his way on his way home from work to give you money to go out. But Love is not important or wanted in his life because he is needed elsewhere.

I sat silent for a long ass time.

A real long ass time.

Too long.

“Well I refuse to “dummy myself down” or become “needy” just to have a man in my life, no matter how much I Love him. I want him, despite his flaws and his poorly hidden ego. And I need to be wanted too.”

Thadd laughed, “You are wanted. He just needs to man up.”

I wasn’t even gonna write a blog today, but I wanted pancakes and I didn’t get what I wanted.

So I had toast, fruit and coffee, which I guess was all that I needed.

Touché, Thadd. Touché.

Peace and ShineOn!!!


By peacefulblessedstar Posted in Sparks

One comment on “Men WANT to be NEEDED; Women NEED to be WANTED

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